


Scenes from an Alternate Universe

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe, Children, F/M, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-06-13
Updated: 2007-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-15 13:49:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14791685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: An AU story for CJ and Danny





	Scenes from an Alternate Universe

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

  
Author's notes: Warning - character death; references to corporal punishment. CJ/Toby shippers may be upset.

Spoilers through end of series; also contains some events which may become part of \"Holding Hands on the Way Down\".

Not mine, never were, never will be, but they consume my soul.

Feedback and criticism always welcomed

You know how that candy bar or that piece of cheesecake just won't leave you alone, no matter how far back in the cupboard or the freezer you hide it? How you finally decide to eat it because that is the only way you can keep it from bothering you for the rest of your life? That's what was in my mind as I wrote \"Scenes from an Alternate Universe\". I was going to get the idea of Paul and CJ out of my mind for once and for all. I didn't want to write this; it's hokey, and it reeks of whatever the male version of \"Mary Sue\" is called.

But CJ and Paul kept wanting to have their story told. Derrick wanted the world to know more about him. Deborah was saying \"What about me?\". And, most of all, Danny and Alicia wanted me to tell you more about heaven, the unique plan that God has for them as they wait for CJ and Paul, and about something known as \"The Swirling Dance\".

So here it is -- \"Fold in Gently\" was born.

Why \"Fold in Gently\"? It's a recipe instruction, used when egg whites or whipped cream are added to the rest of the ingredients. You want to make sure that you don't destroy the structure of the individual ingredients when making the whole. That is what you need to do when bringing together two families into one.

When I decided to post here, I decided to bring \"Scenes from an Alternate Universe\" into the story. I've tried to break up \"Scenes\", to blend it into the chapters which flesh out what was written in \"Scenes\". However, it just isn't working, so I am putting \"Scenes\" in its entirety as the first chapter. Think of it as a synopsis of the first five and a half years of the story.

Also, although \"What's a Heaven for?\" comes chronologically before \"Home for the Holidays\", and that is the order in which I am posting them here, \"Home\" was written before \"What's\", and some of the references might seem weird.

I also apologize again to the Stones, Dylan, Springsteen, Sir Paul and Ringo, the remaining members of the Who and the Dead (and all their fans) for whatever will kill them off in the next six years. (See Chapter 43 of \"Holding Hands on the Way Down\".) It truly will be the day the music died.

Update -- 12/2007 -- I now have \"Holding Hands on the Way Down\" up to May 2013, beyond the point where \"Fold in Gently\" begins (after \"A Fork in the Universe\" in \"Holding Hands\").

Everything in \"Holding Hands on the Way Down\" through through #53 (\"A Fork in the Universe\") holds true for \"Fold in Gently\". After that, the two stories diverge,

Some things that happen in one story may not happen in the other story (an obvious example, the name of the woman who marries Paul). Some things may happen at different times (for example, if and when Nancy and Jesse get married.)  


* * *

**Scenes from an Alternate Universe**

CJ/Danny, Josh/Donna, others; totally alternative universe; total fantasy -- or is it? 

Mature/Adult 

_February 2, 2018 Kensington, CA_

He sat on the loveseat in the study, feet propped up on the ottoman, working on the lecture for his class on Monday. He paused and looked out the window, down from this house in the hills above Berkeley. He could see clear to Treasure Island, see the vague outline of the city; it was a beautiful day. 

He started at the knock on the open door, glanced up, and then smiled at the sight of the two little girls, the five year-old holding the hand of the three year-old. 

He heard the tears in the voice of the older child before he saw them in her eyes. “Papa? Derrick said he had to talk to Paddy man to man and for us to come to you.” 

He set down the laptop and opened his arms. Both girls came running to him. The younger happily snuggled down against his right side and fell asleep; the older climbed into his lap and hugged him tightly. 

Although he thought he knew the answer, he asked the question. “What’s the matter, Kitty-Caitlin?” He pronounced her name the way her cousin/godmother said it should be pronounced, a soft “a”, as if the first “i” weren’t there. (“It’s your ‘Kathleen’ with a hard ‘t’, not the soft ‘th’ and with a short ‘i’, not a long ‘e’.”) 

“What did I do bad, Papa? Why did Mama cry when I tried to hug her before she left this morning?” 

“Help me, dear God,” he prayed silently. How could he explain to this child that with her brilliant red hair and bright blue eyes, she was the feminine image of her father? How do you tell a five year-old that her Mama was hurting in a special way today? 

“You did nothing bad, sweetie. It’s just that your Mama misses your Daddy very much.” 

“But Daddy wouldn’t want Mama to cry. He told her so. He wanted her to marry you; he wanted you to be our Papa. He told me so right after I was borned.” 

“Oh, baby,” Paul Reeves thought to himself, “your Daddy knew as surely as I do that CJ Cregg did not always do what was asked of her by a husband. Why should today be any different?” 

Both he and CJ became introspective on the anniversaries of their first spouses’ deaths, but anniversaries that end in fives or zeroes can register in a crucial way. He remembered how, two years ago this coming May, when Alicia had been dead for ten years, his utter grief caught him by surprise; he remembered sobbing such gut-wrenching tears, burying his head in CJ’s lap, as she held him tightly, stroked his head. This morning, in their bed, it was her turn to mourn. Her tears were less audible, but just as painful. He held her for some 20 minutes, before she said she needed to get ready. Hogan would fly her down to Santa Monica where she would attend Mass, go to the grave where Danny’s ashes were buried alongside the coffin containing their twin sons, and then visit for a little with the small village family that had nurtured the Concannons; she would then come back to their new life here. 

_September 2012; Santa Monica, CA_

Danny wanted to increase his life insurance with the impending birth of their second child and the underwriters wanted a physical and some blood work before setting the new premium. When the results came back from the lab, the doctor asked him to come to the office and to bring his wife. 

It was blood-born, it was silent; the resulting erosion of his body was stealthy and insidious. If he hadn’t had the tests, they would not have discovered it until the very end, until the anemia would finally become apparent. Radiation and chemotherapy would not cure him, but would extend his life long enough to have some time with the child that was due right before Thanksgiving, to have another Christmas with his family, to say good-bye, to build up memories for those left behind (and for him, his Celtic mysticism insisted). 

CJ talked with Scott Winkler and with Linda Tallchief. Just in case, she wanted Danny to know and the ob/gyn told them that she was carrying a little girl. Danny insisted, demanded, that they proceed with their original plans. She would be Caitlin Delores; she would not be a Danielle, unless that was what she chose at Confirmation. Over Danny’s objections, but with Scott’s and Linda’s acquiescence, CJ said that if she did not deliver by her due date, barring any complications, they would induce labor in order to give them as much time as possible as a family. 

He called Paul, reminded the minister of their conversation two years prior, and asked him to fly out to California. Talking to them together, Danny told her what he had asked of Paul two years prior. He told her to look back on the past six years. He talked with her calmly but bluntly. He made her admit that she needed someone to be her ground wire. He made her admit that she needed sexual fulfillment and that it was better with a live man than with a battery-operated boyfriend. He made her admit that their children would flourish best with a father as well as a mother. He told her that it would be a tribute to him; it would tell the world that he had made her so happy that she wanted to continue to have such happiness in her life. He told her that if it were only her, it could be whoever made her happy. Then he told her that, God forgive him for whatever subconscious meanness might be in his heart, but his genes, his DNA, his very soul had been telling him, warning him for the past two years, that Toby Ziegler should not, could not, must not, be stepfather to his children. 

CJ just sat there in shock. Paul told Danny that he would be there for CJ in every way that he could, that, with CJ’s consent, he would be honored to give guidance to his children. He also told Danny that he viewed marriage as a sacrament and that unless and until both he and CJ could approach it with clear and free hearts, never forgetting Danny and Alicia, but able to approach their lives and their bed with no ghosts, he could not in good conscience marry her. And unless they were married, he could not have an intimate relationship with her. He believed in life after death and he believed that Danny would know and therefore, he could not make a promise just to give Danny peace of mind for the next couple of months. 

The treatments were rough, but he endured them. He spent two weeks in the hospital but then adjusted enough that he could undergo them on an outpatient basis. He spent his time writing letters to his son, to his daughter. He printed them on beautiful 24 bond cream stationery, signing them “I love you eternally and beyond, Daddy”. He had them backed up and stored with his lawyer, just in case. He made videos with Paddy and with CJ. He spent every possible moment with his wife and his son. 

He had defended his dissertation in August; it was approved in late October and he received a letter from Southern Cal inviting him to be degreed and hooded next May. CJ contacted USC and the Annenberg School of Journalism and told them of the situation. The dean of the graduate school contacted the president’s office; there would be a special ceremony at the winter term graduation in December. 

In November, he was sick again when CJ went into labor, but was there in the delivery room in a wheelchair, holding her hand, when his daughter was born on November 19, his wife’s birthday. 

“Oh, my God, Danny, she’s you!” She insisted that the doctors give the child to him first. 

He looked down at the red hair and the blue eyes. At first, she seemed to shrink away from him, but when he told her that he loved her, would always love her, and would watch out for her from whatever part of heaven or purgatory he inhabited, she relaxed as if relieved, reached up with her tiny arms, as if she was demanding to be hugged. 

Scott and Linda, not to mention Abbey Bartlet, exercised all sorts of pull and he and CJ were allowed to share a room in the hospital. The baby was with them as much as possible. They even were allowed in bring in Paddy. 

He sent Frank Muñoz to the bank with his safety deposit key; when the man returned, he gave his wife the earrings with four carats’ worth of rare imperial topaz, the official November birthstone, he had bought to thank her for this second child. 

The MacDonalds arrived late on the 20th. Fiona had finally been snared by the older man that crazy Aunt Sorcha had predicted would tame her wildfire, a 40-something Kerry man who looked for all the world like a 16th century pirate, and was about to give birth herself; she would try to come next month. 

Aisling suggested that CJ take Erin, Robin, and Paddy to the cafeteria. She would stay with Danny and the baby. Everyone complied as if hypnotized. 

Sorcha stepped into view, as if she had been standing behind Aisling, but no one had said anything about Sorcha coming with them. Danny saw the eyes of the two women turn transparent, but he was in total control of his facilities. 

“Look at your daughter,” Aisling softly commanded. 

As he gazed into her eyes, he saw them age tremendously. He sensed, rather than heard, but he knew she was speaking to him. 

_“I’m sorry I pulled away at first yesterday. The last time, about 1200 years ago in Norway, I was the fourth girl and my father didn’t want me, so he carried me outside the compound to the woods, took away my blanket, and set me naked on the snow. I was lucky; the cold killed me before the wolves came. But I know now that you love me and I only wish you could stay and be with me. But God loves you and you’ll be there with my brothers and the sister you never knew. I’m tired now, but Sorcha will explain everything.”_

Then the baby’s eyes closed and she went to sleep. 

Danny looked at his niece and her two times great-aunt with deep puzzlement. 

“I told you once before, Uncle Danny, that I have it much stronger than Mom and you. But Aunt Sorcha is special; she can conjure at will, she can see into the past and into the future. There are only one or two in a generation like her. I’ll let her explain.” 

“Danny, God’s ways are mysterious and infinitely varied. Some souls, like the one who is now Caitlin, are offered the choice to return time and time again. Of those who do reincarnate, many are paired with an eternal soul partner. Of these eternal pairs, some, like your friends Josh and Donna, do not know, while they are living, that they are forever bound to each other. In Caitlin’s case, she and her soul mate know each time that they are meant for each other, will know of their connection and of their past lives together by the time they both reach puberty. 

“Caitlin and her soul mate have been reincarnated about 30 times in the last 25,000 years. Most of their lives have been uneventful, no kings or famous people. They were happy, relative to the times. But not lately. As she mentioned, she was exposed at birth in her last incarnation, in 9th century Norway, and they never had a chance. During the Persian invasion of Greece in the 5th century BC, she was a married priestess on Samothrace. She fought against Darius when he raped her, managed to stick a small dagger in his scrotum, and was executed in front of her husband’s eyes in a manner so cruel I will not tell you of it. Last, five centuries earlier, she, her husband, their children, and their dogs were captured during a tribal war in what is now Germany and burnt alive as sacrifices to the war god.” She saw Danny clasp the baby to his chest, as if to protect her from those horrors. 

“But in this life, the two of them are destined to marry and to live a full and happy life together. In this life, Caitlin’s soul mate has been reincarnated in the body of one Huckleberry Ziegler. I have come to tell you that your feelings about Toby do not stem from jealousy, meanness, or pettiness, to give you peace with regard to that, at least. Your feelings of dread about CJ marrying Toby stem from the fact that were CJ and Toby to marry, Caitlin and Huck would face great rejection and bitterness when they declare their own intention to marry. CJ and Toby would consider them to be committing ‘emotional incest’ and would disown them, drive them from the family circle. 

“Danny, make no mistake; in 18 years and 6 months or so, Caitlin and Huck will marry. CJ will marry Paul or she will marry Toby. I cannot see whom she will choose, because God has chosen to give her the choice. He knows her choice, of course, but will not reveal that to me or to the other conjurer. Her choice will affect your daughter’s happiness with regard to her family. This is why you have been given these feelings, to try to influence CJ’s choice. If CJ marries Paul, there will at first be some minor unpleasantness when Caitlin and Huck announce their plans because of the age difference and because Caitlin and Huck will marry as soon as she finishes high school, but that will be quickly resolved and their plans will be accepted by the families.” 

At this point, the room grew misty and Danny saw two future visions simultaneously. 

In one vision, his daughter, looking so much like her cousin, was walking down the aisle of a church in her mother’s wedding dress. She was on the arm of her brother, who looked so much like CJ that Danny began to cry. At the front pew on the right hand side, she stopped and kissed a smiling Toby, hugged a beaming Andi. As Toby and Andi hugged his daughter, he saw the wedding rings on their hands. Then she moved to the left hand side and embraced her mother with the silver streaked auburn hair. Danny reached out to try to touch that hair, to trace the delicate wrinkles on his wife’s face. At the altar, a tall young man waited. Paddy kissed his sister and put her hand into that of Paul, who stood there in ministerial garb next to a priest in vestments. “I know your father is watching you from heaven, Kitty-Caitlin, and I know he is so happy for you.” “I’ll always love Daddy, and I’ll always love you, Papa.” The minister’s eyes moistened with tears as Caitlin reached up to kiss him. Then Paul put Danny’s daughter’s hand into that of Toby’s son, and began to speak the words that would unite the young couple. 

In the second vision, Huck and Paddy, in dark business suits, Caitlin in a white street length dress, and a girl that Danny recognized as a grown up Maggie Muñoz in a similar dress in peach, were standing in front of a priest in an otherwise empty church. Off to the side, in a strange living room, he could see and hear an outraged CJ and Toby. He could hear his wife fuming, saying that she couldn’t stop the wedding, her daughter was over 18, but she certainly wouldn’t release any funds from the trust. The two of them would have to manage on Huck’s salary; if Caitlin wanted to go to college before she turned 25 and the money was hers without restraint, the two of them could damn will figure out how to pay for it themselves. Then CJ broke into sobs, demanding from Toby how the two of them could hurt them so. Despite the lack of blood tie, they had been raised as brother and sister. 

Danny held his daughter tightly. His feelings about Toby sprang not from any jealousy of the man, or fear that he would harm his children; Toby could not be his daughter’s stepfather because he was to be her father-in-law. He felt a quiet peaceful determination. He would do all that he could, in the time he had left, to make sure that CJ married the minister and not the Columbia professor. He looked at Sorcha. 

“These reincarnating soul mates, are CJ and I - ?” 

She smiled slightly and shook her head in the negative. “When CJ’s time comes, the two of you will be together in God’s heaven for eternity.” 

“And Paul, or Toby?” 

“Nor is she eternally bound to either of them. As to what happens to the three of you, God will figure it out. Again, I cannot tell you who she will choose; God has chosen to leave that decision to her.” 

“But Josh and Donna?” 

“Never know while they are here. They keep choosing to come back because they think they can get better at it, have a better life together. Sometimes, they never even meet. A lot of times, they know each other but never fall in love. Sometimes, it’s like this time. However, I think this one just might be the last; this life will be very special for them. 

“Danny, I am also giving you the gift of knowing what the other alternatives would have been for you and for CJ. But you must not speak of any of this, except with Aisling. Go in peace, Daniel Concannon of the Galway Concannons. Know that God loves you, that many wonderful things await you in His heaven. Know that, when the time is right, you will be reunited with your CJ for all of time.” 

And then, Sorcha literally disappeared, just like someone in the transporter beam on “Star Trek”. 

For the rest of his time, he periodically had glimpses of the life he would have led with CJ had he not contracted this fatal disease. 

He saw them dancing at Sam’s Inaugural Balls and then at Donna’s. 

He himself walking down the aisle with Caitlin and then dancing with her at her wedding reception. 

He saw Paddy and Maggie at the altar, she resplendent in a Spanish lace gown and full-length mantilla that had been in Frank’s family for 10 generations. 

He saw himself talking intensely with a 15 year-old Paddy about the condom that the boy had oh, so carefully placed in his wallet in a way that all his friends could see it. A man kept what was between the woman he loved and himself exactly there, just between the two of them. Especially at their age and in their circumstances. What did he think his friends would think of Maggie? And what did he think would happen to him if Mike, Steve, or Frank found out about it? 

He saw three more Pulitzers on the mantel, including one for the slightly fictionalized love story of Josiah Edward and Abigail Barrington Bartlet. 

He saw Caitlin and Paddy as flower girl and ring bearer when Aisling married Jamie Stewart, the youngest child and only son of Hugh and Brianna, God be good to them. In some diehard eyes, his younger niece was now the rightful Queen of Scotland. 

He cried in horror when he saw Robin’s plane bombed out of the sky by a whacked out IRA renegade, and saw his beloved sister, unable to cope, swallow the bottle of pills with the family whiskey. 

He saw Admiral Hogan Cregg (who never took her husband’s name professionally, only in private) sworn in as first female Chair of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. 

He saw the four times, once with his son and thrice with his daughter, when a father’s duty to discipline ripped gaping holes in a daddy’s heart. 

He saw himself laughingly but lovingly dealing with his wife as she endured menopause. 

He saw their eventual accidental death in each other’s arms. 

Danny also saw the alternative universe in which Hugh Stewart did not attend the MacDonald clan gathering the summer of Brianna’s 28th year and in which the Pacific School of Religion did accept Paul Reeves into its program. 

He and Brianna married when she was 30 and he was 23. He moved to Scotland and continued to study under Angus, becoming master distiller for the business. Under his command, the MacDonald pot-still whiskey won several prizes and became known among connoisseurs as the best available. Seven, count ‘em, seven Concannon children, three with his red hair, four with her black, two sons and five daughters, overran the family estate. There were twenty-nine grandkids, including a prime minister and a cardinal. There were great-grandbabies out the whazoo. She lived to reach 100 and he to 90, for three years leaving her a widow for the second time in her life. 

Paul did indeed put a solitaire on CJ’s hand in November of her senior year and they married the next June. After graduation from divinity school, he became a leader of the religious left and was in a large part responsible for keeping the religious right from co-opting the “values vote”. She earned a PhD in Political Science and another in Administration and became a valued professor, department chair, president of UC Berkeley, and then Secretary of Education for President John Hoynes in 1999. She raised the caliber of US public education to the top of the international rankings. She became pregnant right away and that son became the first person of color to be elected President of the United States. Once in a while, she felt she might have been able to save the world had she not married the only man she ever loved, the only man to know her body. Her only sorrow was that after three miscarriages, she and Paul reluctantly decided that she should have a tubal ligation and did not have any more children. However, they were able to adopt biracially and the two brother, one sister sibling group they took into their home and their hearts brought them great joy. The Alzheimer’s that ravaged her father’s brain did not come for her until she was in her late 80’s. Mercifully, God took her body with a brain aneurysm two years later; Paul died of a broken heart three months afterward. 

In the summer of 1997, the two couples happened to be on the same Mediterranean cruise and were assigned to the same dinner table. The first evening, the same statement was made in both staterooms: “What a nice couple! How much in love they are! Now, let’s see if making love on a boat during a storm is all it’s cracked up to be.” 

The day after his time with Sorcha (or Sorcha’s spirit, he wasn’t ever sure which), Danny called his lawyer to change one clause in his will. CJ would retain discretionary control of the trusts he had set up for his children until they were 25, except in the case of higher education expenses. Once Paddy or Caitlin (or other children born up to a year after his death) reached 18, they would have the right to request that tuition, room, board, books, and other expenses be paid whether or not CJ approved. He wrote a letter for CJ and gave it to Aisling; she was to give it to CJ when Caitlin and Huck announced their intention to marry as soon as she finished high school. 

The family left the hospital on Thanksgiving Day. Friends and neighbors rallied round to help the new mother, the dying father, the confused little boy, and the baby girl. 

CJ told Scott six weeks be damned; she was going to love her husband for whatever time they had left. Danny’s doctor ignored all the warning labels and told Danny to use the erectile dysfunction pills he was prescribed “just in case” as often as he needed. 

Jed Bartlet flew out and hooded Danny when USC declared Danny to be a Doctor of Philosophy in English and Journalism Arts. 

Christmas Day dawned bright and warm. That afternoon, they sat on the deck at sunset and Danny experienced the day he had dreamt about some 6 years ago: his son asleep on his lap, his wife under his arm, his daughter nursing at his wife’s breast. 

On Sunday January 6, the feast of Epiphany, Danny sat in a wheelchair in church as his old roommate Tim lowered the diapered baby into the warmed baptistery with one arm and three times slowly poured water over her with the other hand. “Caitlin Delores, I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” 

Later that afternoon, at the quiet reception, he was sitting in the enclosed courtyard with his daughter when Huck came to him and asked to hold the baby. The nine year-old boy whispered something into Caitlin’s ear, kissed her forehead, and then raised his face to Danny’s. His eyes aged as Caitlin’s did the day after she was born. 

“She is more precious to me than life itself. When the time comes, I will take care of her always, will love and cherish her as much as you do her mother, will love and cherish her as I have for the last 25,000 years.” 

The morning of January 7, he called again to Paul Reeves. That evening he told CJ that it was time to let go; he had decided to stop treatments. The next morning, she had stopped lactating. She told her daughter that she loved her dearly, but that for the next few weeks, she needed to spend as much time as possible with her daughter's daddy. 

Paul resigned his pastoral position and came to Santa Monica. Danny had convinced Frank and Diana of the rightness of his wishes for CJ and enlisted them as allies in his grand plan; the Muñoz family insisted that Paul stay with them. Joel and Hannah Feldman had no real opinion either way, but their sense of fair play compelled them to make a similar offer to Toby when he came to comfort and support CJ. However, Toby could not afford to resign from Columbia. 

All their friends came to say good-bye; all the neighbors offered space to the visitors. Erin and Robin, Aisling , Fiona, her husband Brendan, and baby Ciara came and stayed in the house, as did Hogan and her husband. Josh broke down without any embarrassment and Danny followed suit; CJ and Donna stood with their arms around each other as their husbands wept in each other’s embrace. Tim came out again from DC and was a constant presence in the house, using an air mattress in the den. 

Danny spent innumerable hours with his son, with his daughter, with his wife. He talked ever urgently with Paul and with Tim. 

On February 2, 2013, six years to the day that he slipped his grandmother’s claddagh ring on CJ’s finger, Danny lay in bed with his son against his right side, his wife against his left, and his daughter on his chest. 

“It’s so bright,” he said, then exclaimed “Pistol!” 

And on that day approximately half-way between the winter solstice and the vernal equinox, on that day his ancient Celtic ancestors called Imbolc, the first day of Celtic spring, on that day that his later Irish Catholic ancestors called Candlemas and then Presentation, with the oil of what used to be called Extreme Unction glistening on his face, his hands, and his feet, with the bread and wine of Eucharist in his mouth, Danny Concannon reluctantly let go of the hand he had been holding for those six years, and reached the bottom of that jump by himself. 

His honorary pallbearers numbered over two dozen: Presidents Matt Santos, Jed Bartlet, and Glen Walken, Governor Sam Seaborn, Josh Lyman, Charlie Young, members of the White House press corps, the men of his village, his college suite mates, his brothers-in-law, his nephews by marriage. They buried his ashes alongside the coffin that held the bodies of their stillborn sons. That night she had her first period since Caitlin’s birth. There would be no more little Concannons in her life. 

There were memorial services in Washington and in South Bend. 

_Early November 2013; Calistoga Hot Springs, CA_

She was in the bathroom of their suite and thought it was funny that she was nervous, like the first time. She wondered if she was being over-sentimental because she bought a peach nightgown, like the first time. She had changed since the first time; would he be surprised or disappointed? But then, he had changed too. Would she be able to adjust, to do this completely right? He was so honorable; he deserved only the best. Would she be good enough? 

_“I told you once before, you’ll get good at new things. You’ll be fine; he’ll be fine; you’ll be fine together.”_

“Danny?” 

_“I’ll always love you, CJ. Now, go in there. Tell that man how much you love him. Go find out again all the things he likes, all the ways he made you happy, all the ways you made him happy.”_

It slipped out before she thought. “You gonna watch?” 

_“Sure, we both are.”_

“Both?” She thought she heard the sound of a slap. 

_“Girlfriend, we both are. NOT! I’m watching out for your man, for your boys. You take good care of my man, hear?” The voice was laughing, rich, gravelly and smooth at the same time, as only the voice of an African-American woman can be._

“Alicia?” 

_“That’s me, honey.”_

“And the two of you are?” 

_“CJ, sweetheart,” Danny chimed in, “it’s like that and it’s no way at all like that. It’s impossible for you to conceive what this is like. I can’t understand why the reincarnaters want to go back. In God’s time, when you get here and when Paul gets here, we are going to have so much – fun doesn’t begin to describe it. But you are wasting precious time. Scoot.”_

“Are you two going to have this same conversation with Paul?” 

_“It’s going on at the same time. Like Danny said, we really can’t explain what heaven is like._

We gotta run. You remember that song ‘Rock and Roll Heaven’? It really is a hell of a band, you should excuse the expression – the Stones, Dylan, Ray, Springsteen, Elvis, all the Beatles, the Dead, the Who, Otis, Janis – and there’s a huge concert and dance over by Alpha Centauri.” 

She felt a light brushing over her face, a plundering of her mouth and then everything was normal. 

She reached for the bathroom door. 

_February 2013_

After Danny’s death, she separated herself totally from “Road to a Better World”. She would devote all her time to the children. Franklin Hollis told her that if and when she wanted a position as a board member, to just let him know. She recommended John Hoynes as new president, but the man refused. He would stay in Washington with Margaret, content to let her career dictate their life together. She then told the Hollises that if they would hold on for two years, Matt Santos would be the logical choice. 

She had light, sporadic, irregular periods after that one the night of the funeral. She had mild hot flashes and Scott confirmed that she was at the onset of menopause. She honestly couldn’t tell her mood swings from her grief. 

Paul was there whenever she needed him. Frank and Diana had apparently made deathbed promises to Danny even if Paul and CJ hadn’t. 

Paddy regressed a little, wet the bed a couple of times. He clung to CJ and to Maggie for a few months, and then began to rebound in July. He started imitating and following Paul the way he had Danny. When Paul’s son Derrick came to visit, the young man fell in love with the little boy that adored his father; the little boy decided that the sun rose and set in Derrick. 

Deborah was happy to see her father so happy. 

In July, he knew. 

In August, she knew. 

In September, he asked. 

She told him about her one-night stand with John Hoynes, the only time she had been with a “taken” man, and asked him if he still wanted her. 

He didn’t tell her that he already knew. He had figured it out when the former vice-president came to him for counseling and advice about telling Margaret that he had once slept with one of her co-workers; but Paul could not betray the “pastor-penitent” relationship. He merely told her that her past was her past and repeated again, word for word, the question he had asked her three minutes earlier. 

She said yes. 

He didn’t want to live in the Santa Monica house with her, and she didn’t want to live there with him either. Neither of them wanted to be in Washington. Nor would they feel comfortable on any of the Disciples of Christ campuses; it was too reminiscent of his time with Alicia. Also, she intended to raise the children as Catholic (and remain one herself) and while he had no problem with that, he wasn’t sure how others in the denomination might feel. 

Then, in one of life’s delicious ironies, the Pacific School of Religion, the same member school of the Graduate Theological Union that would not accept him as a student in the early 1980’s, offered him a full professorship. Berkeley decided to establish a program of study in Philanthropic Management and asked CJ to design the program, to administer it, to coordinate among the existing departments, deciding which existing courses would be used, what new ones might be needed and which departments should teach them. 

She sold the house in Santa Monica, the house she had designed for her and Danny. They felt okay about keeping the property in Mendocino; there hadn’t been time to make that uniquely hers and Danny’s. 

They found a Spanish-style house in the hills above Berkeley. It had three bedrooms, two and a half baths, a living room, a big kitchen, a dining room, a family room, and a study. There was a deck, a pool and a garden facing toward Wildcat Canyon and a view of the bay from the study and the living room. Maybe they could build a guest suite sometime in the future. She’d also like a screen porch in front to enjoy the western view. 

He would only let her put half the proceeds from the Santa Monica house into their new home. He insisted that they put “Danny’s half” into trust for the children. 

And so, on the November Saturday closest to the anniversary of the day she surrendered her virginity to a handsome first-year law student, on the Napa vineyard of her sister-in-law’s family, Jed Bartlet once again performed one of the tasks entrusted to a permanent deacon of the Catholic Church. 

Her family was there, and his children. Hank and Steve and Frank and Diana came up from Santa Monica; Josh and Donna, Sam and Morgan, and Abbey, of course, were there. Toby sent his regrets. Their close friends knew that Danny had wanted this; casual acquaintances gossiped maliciously about the speed with which she remarried. 

He had intended to take a room in one of the hotels in the city for the weekend; Deborah and Derrick gave them a week in this resort north of Napa as a wedding present. 

\------------------------------ 

She left the bathroom and walked into the sitting room of their suite. He had changed into a pair of white silk pajama bottoms. There was a bottle of champagne and some cheesecake on the table. 

They smiled at each other, each glad that the other had remembered their first time together. They were shy and nervous. 

“Did?” he asked. 

She knew he meant Alicia and Danny. She nodded her head up and down. 

“Would you like?” he indicated the food. 

She shook her head no. 

“What would you like to do?” he smiled, knowing that she knew he was repeating the dialog of more than 30 years ago. 

She knew her next line. “To move beyond this anxiety.” Her smile covered her face. 

He was still in good shape; he could still carry her to the bedroom. 

His waist was a little thicker but so was hers. Her breasts had fallen slightly but, then, she had nursed two children. His hips were a little fuller, but he had been sitting a bit more than he did in his twenties. 

He reached for her center and once again asked her to open wide for him. And she remembered the first time she felt his hand cover her pelvic floor, once again felt his fingers and thumb work their magic while all the time that hand, the slow one the Pointer Sisters sang about, that large, hard, yet warm and gentle hand moved against her in undulating rhythmic patterns, giving her something solid against which to throb and pulse and she arched up to meet it. And the kisses, the gentle kisses, the feel of his mustache, a different texture than – and it was as if a light pencil erased that thought from her mind. She played with his ears, grabbed at his shoulders, caressed the line down his sternum toward his groin. 

She opened her eyes and stared into his. She stroked the side of his face. And this time, when he came over her, there was no pain and no need for latex and spermicide. 

Later, they did eat cheesecake and drink champagne. They looked over the resort brochure and decided to split their time between the comforts of the spa and the comforts of their room. 

After their honeymoon, they picked up the children from her brother and sister-in-law and began their life together, six miles from the apartment of the early 1980’s. He enjoyed teaching again at the divinity school and she grew to love establishing a formal degree program based on her experiences with “Road to a Better World”. 

At one point during the wedding reception, Paddy couldn’t find her and began to cry out. Gina’s great-uncle told the little boy, “See there’s your mother, standing with your new papa.” The child raced up to them and threw his arms around her hips. “I no see you, Mama!” Then, smiling up at Paul, he exclaimed “You’re my Papa” and Paul had a new name. 

He would never let the children forget Danny. Danny was their Daddy. As much as he grew to love them, to consider them his own, he would never formally adopt them because he would not sever that bond between father and child; he would never ask that they take his name. As for CJ, she changed her social security, her passport, and her accounts, but she answered to Mrs. Reeves, to Mrs. Concannon, and to Ms. Cregg. As with Danny, she did not make a federal case out of her name and as with Danny, Paul was okay with it. 

As the first anniversary of Danny’s death approached, she became a little depressed and weepy, and accepted comfort from him. Derrick seemed to sense that his father might need some support of his own and took two days from law school to be there for him. On the actual date, she went down to Santa Monica for the day. 

His withdrawal in May during the time that Alicia died was less evident, but just as real, and he felt comforted by her care and concern. 

It wasn’t until June that he began to worry about her tiredness, to insist that she see a doctor. She hadn’t found anyone she liked so one weekend at the end of the month, she flew down to Santa Monica to see Scott. He went with her this time, wanting to be there, to hear first hand if anything was wrong with her. 

They sat in Scott’s office waiting for him to finish talking with his nurse. When the man came in, he sat down and just beamed at them. “CJ, honey, it looks like you are having one last hurrah before moving on to old lady hood!” At their puzzled looks, he spelt it out in words of one syllable. “It happens, sometimes. Sporadic ovulation. You’re pregnant, about 8 weeks. Here are some people I know in Berkeley and Oakland.” He handed them a slip of paper. “If I were the two of you, I would have an amnio. I know how CJ feels, that it wouldn’t change anything, but it would help to be prepared if necessary.” 

“Pregnant?” Paul asked. 

“Yes, pregnant,” the doctor repeated. Then he smiled. “Daddy.” 

“Papa.” Paul corrected, as if by rote. 

“Excuse me?” 

“Danny’s ‘Daddy’. I’m ‘Papa’. At least to Paddy and now Caitlin, she’s beginning to talk. It would be best to be consistent, I guess.” He looked at CJ. “You and me, together, we’re - ”. 

“Yeah,” she looked down. “You okay with that? I mean, I know you were thirty years ago, but now?” 

“Oh, CJ, I can’t describe how unbelievably happy - ” 

“Uh, kids,” Scott interrupted, “why don’t you spend the night in a nice room and work all this out?” 

“Me, too. I just assumed I was - ” They talked over the doctor. 

They flew back to the Bay area and spent the night in pure giddy delight. Afterward, he lay back and stroked her hair, once again wondering in his mind the question he would never ask her aloud. Was it Danny or someone else who taught her to use her toes to -?” 

_“That was me; Brianna showed me that. I don’t think any of the others really taught her anything new. You were pretty thorough. Gotta go, I’m taking my boys kayaking down the Horsehead nebula.”_

They picked a doctor and had the amniocentesis panel, forgetting to tell the doctor that they didn’t want to know the baby’s sex. A week later, they were told that they were having a perfectly normal little girl in mid-January. 

Derrick and Deborah were happy for the two of them. Caitlin didn’t understand the concept. Paddy asked them to “take it back and get a boy.” 

Once they knew she was a girl, the only question was the order of the names. She thought that Alicia Danielle had a better rhythm. “Knowing you, she’d be called ‘A.D.’ or ‘Addy’. It sounds like a crazy spinster’s name,” was his reaction. He pushed for Danielle Alicia. 

Then Derrick told them that he and Deborah had already agreed that whoever gave Paul his first granddaughter would name the child for their mother. It was going to be confusing enough to have an aunt as an age peer; having the same name might be a bit over the top. 

_October, 2014_

“It’s been 10 minutes, that’s long enough for him to be in time out,” he told her. “It’s your choice, but I’d prefer that you be there. He has to know that he can’t play us.” 

She nodded her head, sighed, and smiled at him. “Let’s go.” As they walked toward the study where Paddy waited for them, she admitted to herself that Danny would have done the same thing. 

_“Damn straight I would have. Except I would have made you share in doing it, one swat apiece. No way I would have been the only heavy.”_

“If there’s a next time, it will be your turn to spank him, CJ; we’re in this together.” 

_In spite of himself, Danny was proud that although Paddy's lower lip quivered after Paul smacked his butt twice, his son didn’t start bawling or try to run to his mother for comfort. Then he reached down and swatted the kid himself._

About 10 hours later: 

Derrick Reeves awoke to the sound of his cell phone ringing. The clock read 2:38 AM. The number was that of his folks, which caused him some concern. 

“Hey,” he yawned into the phone. 

“Derrick?” He recognized Paddy’s voice even in the almost whisper. 

“Hey, buddy. What’s the matter?” 

“Papa spanked me; Mama let him.” 

Derrick smiled at the ridiculous idea of his father needing permission before dealing out any form of discipline he felt was necessary. 

“I see. What did you do?” 

“Caitlin wouldn’t share her candy bar, so I drownded her teddy in the toilet. It made a big mess.” 

He could barely contain his laughter, but then he got serious again. “Is that all you did?” Between Deborah and himself, his father had administered physical punishment only four times, twice to him and twice to her; he would not use it for simple mischief. 

“When they asked me, I fibbed; twice.” 

“O-o-oh. Never, never tell them a lie.” 

“Derrick, you know, you could have told me this before today.” 

_Danny’s laugh startled everyone else tobogganing down the cloud bed. His son sounded so much like he did when he found out exactly what kind of goldfish CJ liked._

“My bad. While we're on the subject, never, never call your mother a bad name. Deborah did that when we were nine and she got five spanks. That's the most he ever gave either of us. Listen, there is nothing you can do that you can’t tell them; or me, for that matter. Nothing you can do or say will make them or me or Deborah stop loving you.” 

“That’s what he said afterward. If I had told the truth, I still would have had to empty my piggy bank to buy her a new teddy and I still would have had a timeout, but the spanking was for lying.” 

“So-o-o. How do you feel now?” 

“Oh, it’s okay, it stopped hurting almost right away. I had on my heavy jeans.” 

“How do you feel about your Papa and your Mama? Are you mad at them?” 

“Un unh. Papa told me to tell him I was sorry, that I would never do it again, and to give him and Mama a hug. Then he said we could forget all about it, once I made rep-rations.” Derrick smiled in memory of the way his father would end scoldings. “I had too much money in my piggy for the teddy, so I had to buy everyone ice cream and I have to put what was left after that in the Poor Box when I go to church on Saturday. I was saving for a ‘Harry Potter’ video.” 

“Hey, just be glad it wasn't right after Christmas or your birthday. What if you had all your present money in there? That happened to me once. ” 

“Did you ever lie?” 

“Yes, I did. Once.” 

“Did Papa spank you?” 

“Yes, he did.” 

“Did he ever hit you for anything else?” Derrick sighed. Why did Paddy have to say “hit” instead of “spank”? Technically, a lick on your ass with a belt wasn’t a spanking. “When I was 10, I did something really, really bad. There were these boys that I wanted to like me, and they were doing it, so I did it even though I knew it was wrong.” 

“What was it?” 

“How to explain this to a five year-old? He’s really too young,” Derrick thought to himself. 

_“No,” Danny told the young man. “No one is ever too young to be told that prejudice and bigotry are wrong.”_

“Do you remember when you repeated that word you overheard and I told you about bad words, words that are used to insult someone because of their skin color or their religion or where their parents or grand-parents were born? How you should never use those words? Well, there are also some signs that are bad and these boys and I spray-painted some of those signs on the local synagogue, that’s kind of like a church for Jewish people.” 

“And that made Papa mad?” 

Yes,Paddy, it made him mad, but it also made him very sad. It made him cry. He said that what I did would make people think that he felt that way, that my mother felt that way, and that the church felt that way. Seeing him cry like that hurt me more than being hit by him. It was the worst feeling in the world.” 

“Did you have to empty your piggy bank?” 

“Of course. And I had to clean the signs off the walls and I had to go in front of all the people who prayed to God in the synagogue and apologize. Oh, I also had to cut the grass for the synagogue and shovel the snow off their sidewalks for a whole year afterward.” 

“Wow!” 

“Listen, Paddy. Some boys or even some girls might tease you and try to make you do bad things because our father is a minister. Don’t listen to them. They are not the type of friends you want to have.” 

“’Kay,” the boy yawned. 

“Listen, in the morning, you make sure you tell them that you called me. They won’t be mad,” because I’m going to wake them up at 6:30 and tell them all about it, “but you need to tell them right away. Promise you’ll tell them in the morning?” 

“Yes sir. G’night, Derrick. I love you.” 

“Love you too, buddy. Now go to sleep.” 

As Derrick turned over in his bed, he thought he felt a stirring in the air. 

_“Thank you.”_

Early January 2015 

Danielle Alicia Reeves came into the world. She had her mother’s eyes, her father’s hair color. Once her skin tone settled down, she glowed somewhere between gold and bronze. Caitlin couldn't pronounce her name properly and thus gave her the name everyone came to use. 

His church did not practice infant baptism, but he knew that it would ease CJ’s mind and so the baby was christened. Hogan and Derrick would be her godparents. They agreed that they would expose this child to both faith traditions. Many of the fundamentals were the same. 

They had no separate nursery and so kept her crib in their room. Paul took a leave of absence for the spring term and helped with all three children. 

_“If I had known what an aphrodisiac it was, I would have tried harder to breastfeed. He can’t take his eyes off her when she’s nursing that child. That baby’s a pretty little thing, isn’t she?”_

“She listens to him. She doesn’t disagree with him nearly as much as she did with me. One little word and she stopped bitching about Haffley winning. It was as if he had pulled a plug on her mouth!” 

“He has that effect. It’s not just her, it’s the kids, it’s the other professors at the school. You should have seen him in Lexington. People just naturally turn to him for decisions, just want to do what he says. Believe me, many was the time when, afterward, I would say to myself, ‘Alicia, why didn’t you suggest this’ or ‘You should have stood up for that ’, but he just makes it feel so natural, so right, to just go along, to accept his judgment. Come on, it’s inter-stellar lacrosse, Virtues versus Principalities, in the Andromeda galaxy. Who knew, when we called them ‘shooting stars’, they were being flung around by angels?” 

“Wouldn’t you rather - ?” 

“I bet she just loved that little gleam, that smile. Later, keep your pants on. Look, there’s Brianna.” 

April 2015 

On her spring break, Deborah came to visit with a “special” friend. The next morning, when CJ walked by the study door, she heard the young man say “and with your permission and your blessing, I would like to ask her to marry me.” That afternoon, Deborah came to her and asked her if she would help her plan a “small but tasteful Christmas wedding” and be “mother of the bride”. 

_December 27, 2015_

It was a candlelight wedding. 

_“Wow, until you’ve heard ‘Angels We Have Heard on High’ sung by actual Cherubim, Seraphim, and Thrones -- Hey, your Deborah is about to start down the aisle.”_

“Just look at my little girl and that guy she picked! Aren’t they beautiful?” Then she brushed her lips gently over Paul's forehead. "We did good work, didn't we, darling? And you, especially, these past nine years. Deborah's all I could have hoped for. Derrick too. I'm so glad you have CJ and her children and that baby; she's good for you." 

Paul escorted his daughter down the aisle, put her hand in that of her fiancé, then donned his stole and asked for their vows. CJ wanted to defer to Deborah’s aunt, her mother’s sister, to have her be the last person seated before the wedding procession. Deborah decided that her brother would escort both women down the aisle as “mother of the bride”. Paddy had apparently inherited his father’s enjoyment of wedding ceremonies; he loved his role as ring bearer. 

_March, 2016_

He kissed away her tears when she found out that Ben fell into a glacial crevasse in Denali National Park and died before help could come. 

_December, 2017_

Deborah and her husband had a little boy. When she jokingly called Paul “Grandpa”, he called her “Nana”. 

_February 2, 2018_

“Papa! Papa! Guess what!” 

“Quiet, Paddy!” Paul softly admonished, “Your sisters are sleeping.” 

“I’m sorry.” It was amazing. To look at the boy, he was all CJ – her hair, her eyes, her smile, her height. At eight “and a half”, as the boy would insist, he was already 5 foot 4 inches. He was definitely his mother’s son. 

It wasn’t until he opened his mouth that you knew he belonged to Danny Concannon. But when he did – the cadence; the accent; the choice of just the right word, even at such a young age; the deceptive self-deprecation; the tone (allowing for the fact that his voice had not yet dropped); – you had no doubt of the lad’s parentage. 

“Dad - ”, Derrick came to the door, then stopped speaking as he saw the sleeping girls. “You want to put them to bed? Here, let me help you. I’ll take Caitlin,” he whispered softly as he picked up the girl from his father’s lap, “so you can manage Dansha.” 

Paul stood up, picked up his youngest daughter (he no longer distinguished between “yours, mine, and ours”), and led the way to the room that the girls shared, Paddy following them. They set the girls down on their beds and shut the bedroom door. 

“Papa!” 

“Yes, Paddy, I’m sorry, I mean Pat,” he stroked the hair of the boy who had recently decided that he wanted a “more grown up” name. “What is it?” 

“Derrick,” the boy looked up at the “big brother” he had idolized for the last five years, “says I can be his best man!” 

“That’s an important job!” He smiled at the boy and then up at his older son and winked. Last night when he arrived, Derrick told CJ and him that when he and Natasha married in August, he wanted “the only brother I’ve got” to be the one standing next to him, holding the rings. Did they think he would be up to the task? Natasha’s married sister would be matron of honor, so the “escort” duties would not be a factor. Both Natasha and her sister were okay with the idea. 

The front door opened. “Where’s everyone?” CJ’s cheery voice sounded forced to his ear. “Paddy, I have a surprise for you!” 

“Ma-a-a ma-a-a! I told you, it’s Pat!” 

Well, this surprise is for Paddy because the surprise doesn’t know about Pat.” 

Everyone met in the family room. 

“Maggie!” the boy exclaimed, hugging his closest friend. 

“I’m so glad to see you! I'm the best man. How long are you here? You can have the top bunk! Will you be my date for the wedding? I’m Pat now, is that okay with you? Come see my gerbil. Can Derrick be the best man when we get married?” 

Paul raised his eyebrows. 

“The top bunk?” Derrick asked the boy. “Then where will I sleep?” 

“We’ll figure out sleeping arrangements later, Pat, Maggie,” CJ said as the boy led the girl into his bedroom. 

She went up, kissed and hugged her husband, then a peck on the cheek for her stepson, finally sitting down. 

“Maybe they are getting a little too old for sharing, but they’ve been doing it all their short lives. They had their hands in each other’s diapers at two months,” she smiled at the memory. “Anyway, since Hogan will be flying back to San Diego on Sunday, I asked Frank and Diana if Maggie could visit for the weekend. I hope you don’t mind,” she looked at her husband. 

“Of course I don’t,” he put an arm around her. “Let’s see, we’ve got Hogan in the living room, and Derrick was scrunching his frame into one of Pat’s bunk beds because he can’t deny his little brother anything. Why don’t we put all four kids on mattresses in the girl’s room and put a mattress from the bunk beds on the floor in Paddy’s -- Pat’s” he sighed “room for you, Derrick?” 

“That’s fine, I’m easy.” 

“Can Caitlin and Dansha share a bed?” Hogan asked. “I can sleep with them and give Derrick the living room,” Hogan said. “Then Pat and Maggie can have his room. From what she said on the plane and what I’ve observed, I think the two of them are still kids, and it would be a shame to make them think about grown up things before they want to. I remember Frank and Danny saying they wouldn’t need the chastity belts before the two of them turned twelve.” She wiped a tear at the memory of her redheaded uncle by marriage joking with their neighbor about the relationship between the children. 

“Speaking of the girls?” CJ asked. 

“Sacked out.” Paul looked at Derrick, sending a silent message. 

“Hogan, could you come help me with something in the kitchen?” 

Paul pulled her into a big hug and they sat there for a few minutes. He was not going to ask if she was okay. He knew her well enough to know that she was on edge, running on fumes. Finally, she let out a few tears. “Better?” he crooned into her ear. “Just so you know, Caitlin was upset, confused. She thinks she did something to make you mad this morning. I tried to explain but I’m not sure how good a job I did.” He decided not to tell her what Caitlin said about not doing what Danny wan ted. If Caitlin mentioned it, it would have more force. “Did you talk with Erin?” 

“Yeah. She’d like to see the kids sometime?” She looked at her husband, silently asking. 

“You know they’re welcome at any time. If they waited till summer, we could set up some tents at Mendocino, but anytime.” He kissed the side of her head, pulled her to her feet. “Let’s see what Hogan and Derrick are doing.” 

“Hogan and I thought maybe we’d take the kids out for pizza and a movie at the drive-in,” Derrick said. Hogan was out by the deck. Her submariner husband had called her cell. 

CJ started putting away some of the pans in the dish drainer. 

Paul answered him. “That’s nice of you, son, but - ”. 

“Hey, Hogan told me about the other night, how Paddy wanted to make sure his mama wasn’t hurting when she scr -”. 

The frying pan was cool, empty, and dry. CJ decided it needed to make contact with her stepson’s rear end. 

The young man laughed, and hugged her. “You make him so happy, I love you. And I love the kids. Our lives are so much richer for having you,” he whispered in her ear. 

Hogan came in glowing. “He has a week’s shore leave in Tahiti the first of March and I got permission to take some myself.” 

The phone rang and Paul answered it. “Sure.” He handed the phone to CJ. “Governor Seaborn.” 

“Hey, Sparky.” “I’m doing okay, no, I understand why you couldn’t be there.” “If at all possible, I’ll be there with you.” “ Sam, I’ll do spells, do a novena, pray to St. Jude, stuff ballot boxes, fill out Chicago ballots, get Danny’s family to put a curse on Haffley, but I can’t join the campaign.” “Yes, I know you’ll have the old gang, but I’m so past that now.” “You go outside, turn around three times and spit, don’t mention Cabinet positions or anything to me or to anyone!” “My love to Morgan and the kids.” 

She turned to face the others. “ Sam is announcing on Thursday noon, in Sacramento. He’d like me on the platform?” 

“Would you want to stay up there overnight? It’s no problem.” 

“No, there’s a whirlwind five-state tour right after. I can leave at dawn and I’d be back by dinner. Up and back on the same day.” 

“Mama.” Caitlin stood in the kitchen doorway. 

She reached down and picked up the child who mirrored the man she had mourned earlier today. “Sweetie, sweetie, sweetie, I love you so much!” 

With arms around CJ’s neck and legs around her waist, Caitlin whispered into her mother’s ear. “Daddy doesn’t want you to be sad, Mama.” 

As CJ kissed the side of Caitlin’s head, she felt the tug at her skirt. “Me, too!” Dansha wanted her share of attention. 

Derrick said something to Hogan and announced he was going to get Pat and Maggie. Hogan gathered up coats for the kids. Paul gave his son the keys to the SUV. 

Five minutes later, he shut the door, waved to the departing vehicle, and turned to his wife. 

“ Sam’s announcement?” she asked again. 

“I don’t have classes that day and I’ll cancel office hours, stay home for the day. Just call me when you get there and call me before you leave for home. Oh, and call me every twenty minutes on the road.” 

He led her into the living room and they sat in front of the big picture window, watching the sun set into the ocean behind the city across the bay, watching the lights on the bridges, the roads, and the buildings come bright against the darkening sky. He stroked her hair as she put little kisses on his chest. 

“Hungry?” she asked. 

“Not just yet.” 

She stood up, pulled him up, took his hand and started toward their bedroom. 

He pulled back on hers, turned her around to face him. “I don’t want you to feel that just because they left us alone - Today’s been, well,” 

She reached up to kiss him. “Yes, it has, but it isn’t now. No ghosts, Paul.” 

“No ghosts,” he kissed her deeply, backing her toward their bedroom. 

_She came up to him, put her arm around his shoulders. For them, as well, the anniversaries of the days they left were also poignant in their own way. “No ghosts?” she asked._

He looked down at the couple making their way to the bed. “Love you,” he whispered to CJ. Then he looked up at her and smiled. “No ghosts. The twins told me there’s unending sundaes over by the Pleiades. She’s gonna love not gaining any weight. Let’s go. Come on, Pistol, you, too. There aren’t any ‘Dogs Not Allowed’ signs in heaven.” 

**Epilog**

_August 2018; Tempe, AZ_

The DJ had just finished a set of R &B tunes with an old song that one of Natasha's uncles had requested be played for his niece. 

"The only one who could ever reach me Was the son of a preacher man The only boy who could ever teach me Was the son of a preacher man" 

Then he announced a set of "classic ballroom choices" and started "Moon River". 

"So, that white boy; that's the groom's little brother that was the best man?" 

"Stepbrother, technically. And the two flower girls, one's a stepsister, one's a half. Can you believe he's only nine? He's so tall!" 

"I think it's sweet that they let him bring a little date, just like the others in the wedding party." 

"I hear she was at the rehearsal dinner too. Look at them dancing together. He certainly dances well for a kid. I wonder if he had lessons?" 

_"That's it, son. Keep your arms firm and keep your hand just above her waist; she'll be able to figure out exactly where you want to go. And keeping looking right into her eyes. You can signal that way, too. One-two-three, one-two-three. Now pivot back on your left foot, no, the left one, and turn her in a circle."_

\----------------- 

**“Slow Hand”** \- Pointer Sisters 

I want a man with a slow hand

I want a lover with an easy touch

I want somebody who will spend some time

Not come and go in a heated rush

I want somebody who will understand

When it comes to love I want a slow hand

If I want it all night

You say it’s all right

**"Rock and Roll Heaven"** – Righteous Brothers 

If you believe in forever,

Then life is just a one-night stand.

If there’s a rock and roll heaven,

Well you know they’ve got a hell of a band.

**"Son of a Preacher Man"** \-- John Hurley/Ronnie Wilkins, sung by (among others) Dusty Springfield, Aretha Franklin, 

Jewish and Catholic tradition group angels into nine orders: 

Seraphim, Cherubim, Thrones, Dominions (or Dominations), Virtues, Powers, Principalities, Archangels, and Angels 


End file.
